Sep. 30th, 2014

myvoice: (Default)
I dreamt of you last night. I went to see you after all this time only to find you'd lost your mind. Honestly, though, you were absolutely bonkers. You tried to kidnap me - to keep me forever. I escaped but barely. Funny how one night's dream can summarize so many years. You were crazy about me and I tried to be there for you but you couldn't handle it. You didn't know what you were doing. You made so many bad decisions. You hurt me so many times. (And I know I hurt you, too.) I'm sorry to know you're hurting because I would never wish that on you but you made your decision and I made mine and, to be brutally honest, I wouldn't have it any other way. Despite everything, you will always be important to me but I think what happened was destiny. Some things just aren't meant to be. Some things are just stepping stones to what's true. I know you're still clinging to hope - hope that we can go back. No. I'm sure you want me to apologize or feel some sort of guilt for where I am now but that's not going to happen. I'm happy - very, truly happy. I hope, someday, you'll be happy, too. Stop sabotaging yourself and just give yourself a chance for once. Stop writing yourself off and step up. You've lost so many opportunities already; it's time to stop running. No, don't argue with me. All you ever do is run and hide. Stop. Grow up. You know what you need to do so do it. The opportunity is still there so don't miss it again before it's gone. Your future is waiting for you at a beautiful place - somewhere you already love, already have friends, already have connections. Swallow your emotions and pride and do what needs to be done for your future. You're always running late. Don't be late for this. Don't miss this last chance. Stop. Running.
myvoice: (Default)
How can I ever believe anything to be true when my life has been nothing but lies?
Oh, but you make me want to believe.
When I look in your eyes, I see a sort of playful innocence that makes me fall for you over and over again.
As much pain as you've suffered, yet that child within you still lives on.
I thought with some certainty that I'd lost mine long ago - that she finally gave in to her impulse and ran away like she'd dreamt of for so long.
But in that time spent with you, I caught a glimpse of her within those tall trees and in the reflection of that clear mountain water.
I'd forgotten what she looked like: like rays of sunshine and big smiles and skipping feet.
I'd forgotten what she sounded like: like birdsong and laughter and calm sighs.
But there she was.
I guess she just needed a playmate.

Will you run away with me?

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Jordyn Mart

June 2021

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